January, 2000 Diary Entries

1-23-00:Time to start this story that has been going down for some time now.  My Family, friends, neighbors and myself have been introduced to the learning of life, that has in some way brought with it a more accelerated way of looking at life as complicated or as simple, as those whose eyes and hearts hold life and what it is to themselves. To myself I see this as something I am about to learn and share with all that have already been put forth by many strong and caring people who are out there in these forums, that not enough people, friends, and caring business's know how much is involved. Yes there is Cancer in the world --  all kinds, cancer to be cured, cancer to live with, cancer to suffer through and cancer that brings many of us together if in no other way, in joy or sorrow. MY wish is that when this website of mine and others grow together, all that is gained, lost, found and shared, will bring us to a place in our hearts and our souls, that will be One.  Please follow all you can, I promise to bring the people, technology, sadness, joy and praise that can only come from such a real shared-life experience.  Humor on board, LET'S ROCK!!!!!!!!!

1-27-00: WOW!!   After re-reading my initial entry, I have to say the effects of pain medication and steroids following my first D-HAP chemo can really set a person's mind to many hard to follow thoughts. I have been going to the clinic daily, driven by my brother and donor Tom, for Neupogen shots to bring my WBCcounts back up to a normal level. The trip for my brother is 30 miles to pick me up, 45 miles to and from the clinic, and another 30 miles for him to go home, for a daily total of 150 miles a day, unfortunately the counts are not coming up as hoped, thus daily trips are needed. This is also resulting in extreme pain for the first time in my history of treatment. Last night I hope will never be repeated as far as feeling total skeletal and body pain that I just could not handle nor control. After a BAD night we went to the clinic today not happy and barely able to walk, I recieved another shot of Neupogen, a shot of Demoral for pain relief and a stronger oral medication to take at home -- oxycontin along with the Roxicet I am already taking. The list of meds I have now been on since recieving the D-HAP chemo are: 1. Allopurinol; 2. Amvian;3. Levaquin; 4.  Prednisone;  5.  Dexamethasone (orally and as eye drops); 6. Prilosec (which I have been taking for a year now due to Barrett's Esophagaus); 7. Compazine; 8.  Roxicet for pain; and 9. Oxycontin for pain (due to Neupogen shots). 

1-28-00: Awake and doing laundry at 3:00 a.m. today, less pain but unable to sleep due to racing mind and how to control pain if it occurs. While laundry is washing and drying I went music shopping on the net, where else! I decided to stock up on all the music I can for my stay in the hospital, and also because I just wouldn't do it otherwise! Too cheap I am! My mother Irene and sister Jody were the lucky contestants today in "who want's to drive Greg to the clinic?"  Good thing for me because it turned into a long day due to several complications which resulted in a trip to the hospital as well.  We got to the clinic at 9:10 a.m. had blood drawn, Neupogen shot given, also shot of demoral for pain, then we sat and waited for blood counts to come back from lab. WBC-up, Good, RBC-down, NO GOOD, I now require a shot of Epogen to stimulate red blood cells and are told we also have to go to the hospital to receive platelets from Blood Center of Wisconsin.   After receiving severe and stern warnings about my now more frail system we shuffle off to the hospital and arrive at the Cancer Care Center at 10:30 a.m.  We proceed to have more blood drawn for typing for correct platelets and am told it will be an hour before the platelets arrive from the blood center. My mom and sister go to lunch and the nurses order me up an excellent hospital lunch which I really did consume willingly.  Lunch was over and dessert was on it's way up to arrive at 1:00 p.m. The platelets arrived in a chilled and stirred (not shaken)  I.V. bag of an eerie pumpkin color.  After attached  and flowing in we all chimed in on the impression the platets reminded us all of, need to go no further. The bag emptiied in 45 minutes -- it had a good drip to it! Thank you Mom and Jody for sharing your day with me today.  You made it much easier having you two around to shoot the breeze with and everything else that took place today, oh yea heh! nice car Jody, JET BLACK, 5 SPEED KICK-ASS 2000 JETTA.

1-29-00 Finallly, we were trying some construction, which led to destruction. My liking for music led me to try to install some background tuneage, but to no avail, we, my Webmaster, wife and I will work on this as I do have some good music in mind from Bjorn Lynne, who has his own site free downloads.

1-31-00: Monday morning awoke, feeling much better, drove to clinic on my own, no problem. This felt good --  I feel like I've been freed in some sense or way. My blood counts were good and we scheduled blood work for 2-3, 2-10, and 2-17-00.,  On Monday, 2-7-00, full body CT scan will be performed, with results to be discussed at the Thursday, 2-17 meeting with the onc.  I would like to state this clearly that being on and off these drugs is really turning me into a person you don't want to be around. I'm fine when I am at home alone, but once the people who I love with all my heart come home I cannot seem to curve my emotions and control my patience and temper, it's just too much!!!!!!  I'm sorry Julie and kids I will try harder, now that I'm off most of these.  I should level off and return to normal if there is such a thing for me. BMT timeclock, three weeks and counting all systems hopefully go, I hope I can maintain my mental psyche for all of this as it draws near. I'M READY FREDDY !!!!!